Snow White would have stayed happy and safe and dancing with the bluebirds if it hadn’t been for the jealousy of one insecure person. I’m pretty sure most of our autobiographies could start with that single sentence.
For Snow White, there was one queen who started each day asking her mirror if she was the fairest of them all, and each day the mirror would give the desired response, mostly because it was a suck-up. An ass-kisser. It was a mirror which wanted to stay employed.
Then, one day, the mirror told the truth . . .
Queen: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face.
Magic Mirror: What wouldst thou know, my Queen?
Queen: Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?
Magic Mirror: Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a lovely maid I see. Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Alas, she is more fair than thee.
Queen: Alas for her! Reveal her name.
Magic Mirror: Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow.
Queen: Snow White!
And then there was an apple and things got sticky.
Who or what serves as our mirror?
We all depend on social mirrors. Maybe it’s those who report to us at work, or a devoted spouse, or our work on a project. Whatever the case, we look to those people or things to tell us just how wonderful we are. And when they do, we feel powerful. We dine out and chow down on carbs. We are, for the moment, invincible.
And then, one day, we get a divorce. Or that easy project goes down the toilet. Or we leave our job. If our power is tied up in the reflection of someone or something else, then, guess what? We’re screwed. Our entire self-esteem was based upon somebody loving us, or achieving a great salary, or driving that BMW. Black cloths are thrown over our mirrors, and we grieve.
Be your own mirror!
This is going to sound corny, but I want you to do it anyway. Start every day by looking in the mirror and saying, “I am the best me there ever will be.” Your success could depend upon it.
I am going to start doing it this week, because I have had a little mirror catastrophe of my own. This week, I want you to remember what I’m remembering right now:
- You don’t need to rely on others for your self-esteem or your power. Because there are few people who truly stick with you – nor should they be expected to. They have their own life to live, and their own gifts to energize.
- The people who, within the first hour of meeting you, throw their arms around your neck and declare you their idol, will be the first to run when trouble arises. Don’t be sucked in by a suck-up.
- If your confidence is impacted by results or feedback, then it’s going to go up and down so many times you will lose your center of control.
So, motivate yourself. Do the best work you can. Be kind and helpful to others, but be your own best friend first. And believe that your soul is limitless, and your power without boundary.
Don’t depend on mirrors. They break. But you get to stay with you forever and ever, amen.
So, be your own best reflection.