Donna Highfill
  • Home
  • About
    • About Donna
    • What People Are Saying
    • My Other Blogs
      • Dame Nation Blog
      • Huffington Post
  • Services
    • Power Up BUSINESS
    • Coaching
  • Books and Tools
  • Blog
    • Fave Products
  • Contact Me

What? I Can Just Be Me?

Donna HighfillBlog2 commentsOctober 8, 2014

My grandmother took me aside at the age of fifteen and delivered this message: “Donna, don’t try to be anybody else. You are you. You are Donna. And there will never be another like you.”

After reaching my fifties, I finally get it. Grandmom saw my tendency to conduct Gallup polls to determine my new hairstyle. She saw me panic when I thought I had displeased my parents by choosing the “wrong” boyfriend. And she observed me as I studied and mirrored someone else’s life without living my own.

Looking up to people is fine, but emulating is a different story . . . 

The dangers of modeling our behavior based upon other people can be obvious. If your son has a poster of Charlie Manson on the wall and spends an inordinate amount of time reading “Helter Skelter,” then you have a problem. But most of us whittle our uniqueness down one “I want to be like that person” at a time.

We slowly shapeshift and become sad copies of someone else.

Don’t choose the wrong threads . . . 

I know this sounds as if I have been smoking something, but life really is this incredible tapestry, and each of us contributes a different color to that living tapestry.

So, what happens? How does our thread end up looking like so many others?

I remember dressing myself for elementary school one morning. I put on a pink party dress with one red sock and one white sock. I was happy. I thought I looked cool.

A neighbor saw me walk by her house and quickly called my mother. A more conventional outfit was delivered to the school in record time. While this probably spared me from getting slapped around on the playground, I felt sad. I really didn’t care about clothes, but on that day I chose what made me happy. I liked bright colors, and I wanted to be unique. I think my red and white socks were an homage to Pippi Longstocking.

There are no wrong threads . . .

While I’m not encouraging you to wear inappropriate clothes to work, I am asking that you buy what speaks to you. Love that lime green blouse? Buy it. Want to dress in all black? Go for it.

You are a unique thread in life’s tapestry that can never be replaced. If you are busy dying yourself the color of other lives, you lose your unique contribution. And eventually you will discover that those people you imitated were just as happy and scared and cocky and insecure as you were.

Today, be the thread you are meant to be. Otherwise, life will have one bland tapestry.

Now, I’m off to buy a pink party dress with red and white socks.

 

Tags: Change, donna highfill, inspiration, motivation, Stories

Related Articles

The People Side of Groundswell

January 10, 2011Andrew

Driving Change through Human Connection

April 14, 2011Andrew

Try Living It Before You Lead It

August 8, 2011Andrew

2 comments. Leave new

Lisa Weinstein
October 9, 2014 12:10 am

Donna – Thinking about you wanting to wear different colored socks reminded me of something I thought of today at work. I was wearing a summer dress while my co-workers were in obvious fall clothing. My co-workers probably all think I’m weird. Oh well, I thought, these hot flashes wil not let me conform to the status quo – I’ll wear summer dresses and open toes shoes until the snow is licking at my frozen feet. And hopefully a neighbor won’t call my mother to come bring me more suitable clothes! 🙂

Reply
dhighfill
October 9, 2014 2:10 pm

I love that line – “I’ll wear summer dresses and open toed shoes until the snow is licking at my frozen feet.” That’s beautiful. I feel cooler just reading it.

Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Learn How to Tell a Better Story and Achieve Success!

Sign up below to receive 48 FREE Energizing Messages.

Connect with Me

Email
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Pinterest

Recent Posts

  • A Cab Driver Who Appeared as if from Nowhere
  • Here’s Some Honesty For You
  • Laughter is My Hero
  • A New Year in Old Clothes
  • Why I Will Face the Fall

CHECK OUT MY BOOK

highfillcover

As a leader, do you implement change only to watch the projects, processes and initiatives stall because you can’t get the people driving them to change? In my new book Real People, Real Change: Stories of a Change Warrior in the Business World I share real stories to illustrate how leaders can move people to action.

Archives

Where Donna Will Be Speaking Next

  • April 22, 2015 - SunTrust Women's Networking Group
  • April 23, 2015 - SunTrust Women's Networking Group
  • May 12, 2015 - LPGA Championship, Kingsmill, Williamsburg VA
  • May 21, 2015 - Education Association of Fundraising Professionals, Eerie, PA

Certified_hi-res

mbti_certified
huffbadge

Learn How to Tell a Better Story and Achieve Success!

Sign up below to receive 48 FREE Energizing Messages.

Recent Posts

  • A Cab Driver Who Appeared as if from Nowhere August 9, 2017
  • Here’s Some Honesty For You March 16, 2017
  • Laughter is My Hero January 10, 2017

Contact Me

804-370-6665
[email protected]
  • Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Copyright
  • About Donna
  • Contact Me
Copyright Donna Highfill 2014