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Silence isn’t Always Golden

Donna HighfillBlog15 commentsApril 6, 2015

My brain chatter is out of control, especially during quiet times. I have to verbalize almost every thought. Librarians hate me.

I told my son the other night that a lot of people talk more than I do.

“Nope,” was his response as he left the room.

Some people have a need for speed, but I have a need for sound. I walk in my house and immediately turn on the television. I sit out on the deck surrounded by beautiful, wooded silence, and read voraciously so I can hear myself tell a story.

I can clear a room of introverts in five seconds flat.

People have spent years telling me about the importance of meditation, but I tend to talk right through it.

I always had the fear that had I been Noah, the ark would have never been built. I would have said, “I heard a voice today tell me to build an ark, but I was in the middle of talking to my mom on the phone, so it could have been static,” or “Someone was talking about cubics today on my walk, but I was trying to analyze a dream I had last night about a large boat and I didn’t really hear it.”

If silence is golden, then I’m a very affordable metal . . .

Most quotes about silence are in favor of it; written by introverts, they determine that it’s only in silence that we will find life’s path. It’s only in the quiet that true power is found.

Oddly, I didn’t talk until I was almost three years-old. So I think I’ve been making up for lost time.

Now that I’m in my fifties, I’m finally learning to be okay with myself.

My verbosity served me well as a preacher’s kid in the 60’s, when we went to the homes of new members in the church and sat on their plastic-covered couches, our thighs screaming for relief. My brother and sister were very quiet, but I would ask questions of our hosts and compliment their homes and tell funny stories.

I was the opening act, getting the crowd energized.

Unfortunately, I don’t always know when to turn the act off. Funerals loosen my tongue and infuse me with a weird levity. At my dad’s visitation, I shared the story of a pastor who came to pray over dad while he was extremely ill with cancer and in a deep, painful sleep.  I thought the prayer would never end.

I had to listen to at least forty-two “just Lord’s” while dad’s eyes stayed firmly shut. After the well-meaning pastor finally left, I leaned over to my thin, sleeping father and said, “If you make me sit through one more prayer like that, I will kill you before the cancer does.” My dad’s face broke into a smile, even though he never opened his eyes.

Others don’t get to dictate our gifts. . .

We need to be careful before we change ourselves based upon the latest book or our friend’s opinion.

Because we’re all unique, and our life’s path could require those elements that drive some people crazy.

Let’s hug those gifts we’ve been given, and figure out where they can lead us. And if somebody else doesn’t like that part of us? It’s okay.

It’s our gift to value.

 

 

Tags: Change, donna highfill, inspiration, motivation, Stories

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15 comments. Leave new

Carol Cassara
April 7, 2015 2:05 pm

OMG, talk about self-acceptance! and good for you. Love this piece of encouragement on a Tues. a.m.

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 7, 2015 2:28 pm

Thank you, Carol!

Reply
Ellen Dolgen
April 7, 2015 2:40 pm

I kept smiling while I was reading your blog. I like sound, too. I am a talker, too. I grew up in the hotel business. Like you, I would talk to strangers all the time. I love people. Keep talking sister! Your words are great!!!

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 7, 2015 3:11 pm

Thank you, Ellen. We should get together some time and just talk our little hearts out :).

Reply
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com
April 7, 2015 3:00 pm

I happen to enjoy talking A LOT but I also like my quiet times as well. My biggest problem is that I have a LOUD voice and when I speak sometimes everyone can hear 🙂 As you say, we all have our “gifts” and learning to appreciate ourselves no matter what is very important.

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 7, 2015 3:11 pm

Kathy – I totally get it. My voice is DEEP and it can carry through plaster walls. That’s okay, it helps me speak in front of large groups without a microphone. And I’m learning to like the quiet times . . .

Reply
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com
April 7, 2015 3:02 pm

I too love to talk but I also enjoy my quiet times. My biggest challenge is that when I do talk my voice tends to be LOUD and that can get me into trouble. But as you say, what’s most important is to learn to appreciate ourselves exactly as we are. Thanks for the reminder.

Reply
Rena McDaniel
April 7, 2015 4:18 pm

I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t be quiet long enough to meditate. I’ve always felt as if something were wrong with me! I can’t ever get my mind to just be still and quiet. I also talk loud especially now after taking care of mom for so long and having to practically shout to get her to hear me!

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 7, 2015 5:32 pm

Rena: That’s a great point and another advantage of loud talking – those who are hard of hearing can hear us! Yes, I have failed several meditation courses. Maybe the two of us should come up with a way for extroverts to find their inner peace :). Thanks so much for commenting.

Reply
Dianna Hayes
April 7, 2015 5:32 pm

Hi Donna , I have Loved ALL your messages ! But this one spoke to me LOUD and CLEAR !
There is a voice inside all of that wants to be accepted and not judged . To me there is no Greater gift than to accept and be the person God has called on us to be . To live a life of Passion and Purpose . To me that is True Joy . I feel to Grateful I have a gift of compassion & empathy and am able to share my gift of Hope and Awareness to those who are willing to make changes,and empower themselves to live a life of True Health . I know this is my true calling -I’m like a sponge for information that I continue to share. I know when people are healthy they have many wishes but when they are not healthy they have one wish and that is to be healthy . I am a Wellness Warrior changing peoples lives one person at a time ! My true Life’s Purpose !

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 7, 2015 5:41 pm

Dianna: Your passion about wellness and serving others is clear every time I interact with you. It just bursts out of you, barely contained by the body around it. You are a warrior of the very best kind.

Reply
Anita Irlen
April 7, 2015 7:54 pm

I know what you’re talking about, and it doesn’t matter that I’m the opposite. I don’t talk much, especially in larger groups or if I don’t know you quite well. I have learned to accept this in myself, but sometimes I think people believe I don’t talk because I haven’t much to say. That, alas, bothers me. Thanks.

Anita

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 7, 2015 7:57 pm

Anita: Same issue – we let others feel bad for who we are. And, ultimately, introverts struggle more because it’s an extroverted world. There’s a bestselling book called “Quiet” that I bought for my husband. He thought it was a personal message to me :), but it’s a great book for those of us who favor less verbosity. Thanks so much for sharing “the other side” to this equation. Let those who question you know that still waters run deep.

Reply
Corinne Rodrigues
April 8, 2015 4:42 pm

I can be real quiet and real talkative depending on the company! But no one is going to dictate how I’m going to be! Thanks for the affirmation to be ourselves, Donna!

Reply
Donna Highfill
April 8, 2015 4:50 pm

Good for you, Corinne! I love your confidence.

Reply

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