When Politics Come Between You and Your Kids

The political season is upon us, which turns many friends and family members into WWE opponents. It seems that civil discourse is out of the question. Apparently, Morton Downey Jr. has become our conversational role-model.

So, what happens if our political views differ from those of our children?

This question came from one of my readers, and I think it’s worthy of consideration.

How to handle political differences within the family . . .

I remember the day my brother-in-law and I got into a political battle. The conversation started with civility, but soon turned into a screaming match. My sister left in tears, and our family visit was marred. It happens.

Therefore, I suggest the following:

• There is not one good thing that can come from a political battle. Anger begets anger. Once a conversation becomes heated, all civility is lost. Valid ideas are covered in sarcasm. So, stop the discussion. Suggest that cooler heads should prevail and postpone the discussion until everybody is less angry than, say, a guest on Maury Povich.
• If kids want to debate, then suggest an actual debate format. Let them present their thoughts, to which you will rebut. Then flip sides, and have them support the opposite perspective, and you do the same. My college debate experience taught me that I could support both sides of an argument, which led to a year of very confusing conversations.
• Do not have any political discussions with kids after they have watched a UFC fight or played a violent video game. Seriously.
• Eliminate extreme language. Tell everyone they can talk if they eliminate the words never, always, idiot, and stupid.
• Each person must give the why behind their perspective — including what led them to this point. Not permitted as a reason is a who, such as – God, Howard Stern, or Rush Limbaugh. The thought must be logical and well-supported.
• Place a cursing jar in the middle of the table before discussions ensue. Every time someone curses, they must put one dollar in the jar. This will keep the keep the anger at a minimum, and could pay for a very nice dinner once the conversation is over.
• Tell your kids that before the political discussion begins they must hand over their phones to give full focus to the discussion. I guarantee you that most of them will wander away at this point, tweeting nasty comments about you.

Or, you could use bribery. . .

Unfortunately, this is my most often-used source of influence. My kids, nieces and nephews all know that I like to throw money at things. If you will stop screaming about politics, I will give you $20.00. This approach is a horrible parenting technique, but it works.

I wish all of us would realize that considering another person’s perspective exercises the brain. We need to be role-models of civil discourse, celebrating the fact that our children are forming their own opinions.

Before getting into a political discussion with my kids, I would quote  F. Scott Fitzgerald —

 “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

Then I would throw down the gauntlet of – Do you have a first-rate intelligence?

Because the only thing better than monetary bribery is intellectual bribery.