During this year of extreme change, I have days when I am flying high. I’m dreaming the impossible dream. Climbing every mountain. Fording every stream. You get the point.
The Jaguar
Then fear creeps in like a Jaguar stalking its prey. Crouched in the bushes, I can feel its eyes on me. I know that its hisses are whispering thoughts like:
- What if you never make money again?
- What if you have to depend on other people?
- Have you checked out the economy lately? Are you crazy?
- Doing the impossible is overrated. You’ll be sorry.
My heart starts to pound and I get on Monster.com impulsively, scouting for jobs. Then I start to pay attention to my body as I look for that elusive corporate job. My chest begins to tighten. My stomach starts to churn. I begin to bite my thumbnail. My mood goes dark. I have an incredible urge to go home, eat unhealthy food and watch mindless television for the rest of the day. I’m talking “Keeping up with the Kardashians” kind of mindless. Yes, sometimes it gets that bad.
Channel the Cat
Then I have a day like today, where I use that lurking Jaguar to fuel my actions. The sense of something watching me makes me alert and speeds up my energy. My heart begins to pound, my leg bounces up and down, and I find myself thinking about what I should do. The risk is that these moments can turn to buckshot, with my energy going everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
So I’ve learned to channel it, by doing the following:
- Take advantage of the adrenalin. While it’s flowing, don’t kill the energy by looking for a job. Instead, contact three people who might help promote my book.
- Take the leg action and go work out. Invest in an hour that will make me feel one hundred times stronger just for having survived it.
- Face the Jaguar by looking at my finances and saying, “Paper doesn’t get to stop me. Not even green paper that is worshiped by most. I might give up my dream for someone or something greater than me, but not for paper.”
- Organize my next moves. Most corporate days are organized — 9:00 a.m. meeting, 10:00 a.m meeting, 12:00 p.m. meeting about the last meeting, etc. My new direction requires that I organize myself. I write down at least five things I want to accomplish in the day and force myself to do them. Would I rather go to Barnes and Noble and buy “Fifty Shades of Grey?” Perhaps. But I don’t.
Fear is not a foe, nor is it a friend. It simply is what it is. What we do with it makes it either a positive or negative force in our lives.
Today, I’m not going home to watch television. I’m reaching out to people about my book. I’m writing my blogs. I’m going to do Bikram Yoga.
I’m staring that Jaguar in the face. And we’re purring on all cylinders.