The other day I was lying on my bed lamenting the general frustration of being 52 years-old and in a state of change. As tears rolled down the sides of my face, I sensed my grandmother’s presence. Grandmom was widowed at a young age, but took the bull by the horns and carved a place out for herself. She entered the ministry, taught herself to drive, and celebrated each and every day.
As I whined “What should I do with my life?” I heard her say, “Whatever you do, have fun doing it!”
Maybe it’s not profound, but coming from a dead Grandmother it merits some attention. It forced me to think about the following:
- Do I need to walk away from everything I’ve done for the past twenty years to be happy?
- Are there parts of what I’ve done that I actually do enjoy?
- Do I need to know the ultimate destination?
- Is there a way I can skip down the yellow brick road instead of lumbering and lamenting?
I invite any of you readers to consider the same questions. Maybe we don’t all need to make a radical change to be happy. Maybe we just need to find a way to lighten up the areas that are frustrating us — tweaking our lives instead of tearing them apart. Here are my answers to the questions above.
Do I need to walk away from everything I’ve done for the past twenty years to be happy?
Um, no. I’ve actually enjoyed most of my work and the people with whom I’ve engaged. One or two negative experiences do not have to tear down years of learning and effort.
Are there parts of what I’ve done that I actually do enjoy?
Absolutely. I love helping people move through change and transition. I love helping organizations with leaders who actually want to be helped. I love the phrase “This can’t be done.” It’s my favorite phrase because I know change is on the way.
Do I need to know the ultimate destination?
Actually, no. I know we all read books about setting long-term goals, but if you had told me when I was in college that change was going to be my focus I would have told you that you knew nothing about me. I think I can take it one step at a time without seeing the final destination. In fact, the next step is the only one I’m capable of taking at any one time. I might as well focus and make it a good one.
Is there a way I can skip down the yellow brick road instead of lumbering and lamenting?
Absolutely. My lumbering and lamenting comes from fear. Is this the right direction? Am I going to make money? Will I be happy? Well, not as long as I’m asking those questions. I need to wake up each day enchanted by the opportunities and focused on the one thing that is most important.
I think we make change more difficult by asking for absolutes and long-term promises before we start the journey. What we don’t realize is that the journey will start without us, and instead of enjoying the momentum we will find ourselves wearing out our emotional muscles by holding onto the past.
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Some good advise. I will need to be reminded as I can’t remember much!