While work-life might offer education on skills, rarely does it help us understand how to get along with those around us. This is ironic because research reveals that poor relationship skills is the number one derailer for professionals.
As I work within companies, I find that at the heart of the greatest project failures is a damaged relationship, a lack of communication, or a lack of motivation. Rarely does the problem involve implementing the change for which I was retained.
Try this. In your next meeting, look at the people around you. Don’t stare openly like a creeper, but do pay attention to their behavior. I promise, you’ll find that the people in that room do not differ significantly from those with whom you played in 6th grade.
In that conference room, you might just recognize:
- The Hand Raiser – She was the competitor in class, the one who knew every answer and had her homework done a day early while you were scribbling yours two-minutes before it was due. The hand raiser might have morphed into the meeting dominator . . . the person who talks for 45 minutes without taking a breath. The good news is that this mixed blessing’s preparation often positions a project for success.
- The Class Clown – You know the guy who would shoot rubber bands into the ceiling tiles while the teacher’s back was turned? He’s still there. He’s the guy who places a funny PowerPoint slide in the middle of his deck. He adds more value than you may realize, as he provides the release of laughter that keeps everyone working together.
- The Leader – Remember those girls or guys who organized every event? Ran for student body president? Led the pep rallies? They actually worried about school spirit, and still do. These are the people who will still step up when nobody else will, taking on responsibilities with pride and determination.
When team issues come around, just remember that we’re all still on the playground doing the best we can with the DNA we’ve received. There are very few true bad guys, and absolutely no perfect individuals.
We all want to be acknowledged, and valued, and included. The very factors that make us annoying are also the ones that will help us succeed. If you want to figure out how to handle a teammate, try this:
- Get to know him
- Show her respect
- Value their differences
- Acknowledge them when appropriate
Generally, this works. If it doesn’t, then just try to stay away from that person. Avoidance isn’t always a bad strategy. But most of all, try to always engage in fair play.
Life’s a playground. There will be confrontations, but there will also be amazing fun to be had. Enjoy it.