Sometimes, when nothing is working and we are searching for the right answer, we just need to find our confidence.
I’ve spent the last few years in an Odyssean type journey, complete with Sirens and everything. I felt called to be everything from a teacher, to a preacher, to a medium.
I have finally realized the reason I lost my way. It’s not that my writing and consulting was wrong, it’s that I got comfortable. I mean, recliner and husband who adores me and kids on their own and eat what I want because I’m in my fifties, kind of comfortable. The edge was lost because I backed away and spent my energy on protecting what I had.
I found Mr. Newton’s theory to be accurate – a body at rest really DOES tend to stay at rest. What followed my body was my mind. I looked for work that I could do without threat of failure. And when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I felt that comfort slipping away. I panicked, leaving my consulting business for the security of a “regular job.”
Every year, as my confidence diminished, so did my success. But, I’m finally back on track.
So, Donna, tell us what got you back on track. . .
Okay, if you insist. Here are three things that happened.
- Life delivered a slap in the face. My security turned out to be anything but, and there was enough pain to push me back out of my comfort zone. I had what we call a “burning platform” in change management. That term comes from a story of a man who was working on an oil rig that caught fire. The ocean around him, filled with oil, also caught fire, and the man jumped a long distance into a burning ocean. When asked where he found the courage to jump he said, “I had no choice.” For too long, my oil rig wasn’t on fire. When I realized my regular job was gone, and my thirteen years of consulting had been dissolved, the flames were lit. I spent a few weeks waiting for security to knock on my door. It didn’t. So, not to mix metaphors, I had to snap out of it.
- I got focused on DOING rather than dreaming. Dreaming is a necessary part of change, but I got stuck there. I dreamed about my dreams. I changed my dreams about every three hours. Because of my 30 years as an OD generalist with a focus on sales and change, I had a lot to offer. I couldn’t nail it down. This time around, I just started writing. I scheduled a seminar for women that I’ve wanted to lead for a long time. I increased my blogging and am starting to receive requests from people and companies all over the world for chances to post on both this blog and my blog for women.
- I let my greatest fear slide on by. For each of us, there’s a fear that stops our forward momentum. And I’m talking the kind of concussion-inducing stop my sister provided the day I chased her through the house and she turned a corner, opened a door, and I slammed into it. It could be the approval of a parent, or the fear of failing, or the belief that we don’t really deserve success. For me, it’s the fear of not having money. So, what did I do? I stopped thinking about money (the result) and began action (the behavior). The thought of Am I going to have to sell my body which will no longer get me enough money for a good meal at Shoney’s? still pops up about a thousand times a day, but I let it slide by. My energy goes to creation.
So, if you find yourself with a less successful lot in life, or just a lot of bad things happening . . .
You might need a little confidence. Create your own burning platform. Let your fears slide by. Build it and it will come [notice the phrase isn’t Dream it and it will come.]
And if you begin to think that success isn’t for you. . . snap out of it!