I don’t know if it was psychological or if the Sandman over-delivered so I wouldn’t see Santa, but until the age of six, I would awake every Christmas morning with pinkeye. Entering the living room with one eye swollen shut, I ruined all of our holiday photos and grossed out my brother and sister as they unwrapped their gifts.
The greatest frustration was that nobody would look at me, especially during meals. As a highly visual person, looking directly at people during conversation was and is critical for me.
Looking into someone’s eyes allows me to connect quickly, soul-to-soul.
I remember the first time I looked into the eyes of my children as they reached for my face to touch the voice they had heard muffled for nine months.
Gazing at them, I was a) amazed that something this big came out of me and didn’t drag most of my internal organs with it and b) a little terrified that they now depended on a woman who had no natural maternal instincts.
But mostly, I was just amazed.
Eye contact is diminishing. . .
It makes me a little sad that we’ve become so technologically savvy that we have stopped looking at each other.
When cancer put my father in a wheelchair, he said his greatest frustration was that nobody would look at him. He missed the eye-to-eye contact which fueled his soul and made him feel connected.
We now spend more time looking at computer screens than each other, and I think it is breaking our community web.
I coach many women who can’t remember their story – who they are, what they want out of life. I was one of those women, and one day I realized that it had been too long since I had looked into my own eyes and connected with my soul.
Two Ways to Discover Your Soul Signature
These exercises comes from a wonderful book called Discovering Your Soul Signature by Panache Desai:
- Find a picture of yourself as a toddler. Select a photo where you are looking straight into the camera (for those of you my age, I remember the power of those flashes on Brownie cameras and realize it might be difficult to find a photo where you’re not blinking). Now stare into the eyes of that photo. What are they telling you? Were you confident? Funny? Joyful? Bold?
- Next, look into a mirror. This is difficult if you’re a woman, because you’ll immediately find every flaw on your face. I’m asking you not to – instead, look into your own eyes. What are your eyes telling you today? Do they show the same things your childhood eyes showed? Are you confident? Funny? Joyful? Or are you a little lost? Insecure? Depressed? Frustrated?
Be the baby. . .
Looking at childhood photo, you will probably seek a spark of spirit.
Or a dash of determination.
Or a gentle love of nature.
Looking at your eyes today, you might see something different. But don’t worry, the true core of who you are is still in there. You might have just gotten wrapped up in some emotional scar tissue.
So find your joy again. Remember who you are.
And then, be the baby.
3 comments. Leave new
Donna-
Your posts this week have really resonated with me – playing your character well and reconnecting with your original self. I think women especially struggle with both of these. Most of us go from being someone’s daughter, to someone’s wife, to someone’s mother – all while trying to be a good friend, employee, boss, sister, Girl Scout troop leader, and on and on. It’s no wonder that we lose the connection with who we are really meant to be. Thanks for the reminder that embracing our authentic self is OK!
Paula – it is so true. One of my first seminar offerings was to help women find their story again. We are so busy tending to others we forget to take care of ourselves. Thanks so much for the comment!
Eye see you