Why I Believe in Me

Last night something weird happened. As I was doing my Barre exercises, I failed to complete each exercise. I gave into the burn.

Later, while sitting on the couch eating chips as a reward for my mediocre effort, I considered why I let the burn win. But instead of beating myself up, I decided to find reasons to believe in myself.

Here are just a few accomplishments I jotted down (please ignore the grease from the potato chips):

1. I can handle physical pain. I gave birth naturally and had my tailbone broken slowly with every push. While that was bad news for both my tailbone and my son’s skull, it proved that I could endure some pretty magnificent pain quietly and without drugs. That’s right, I did not scream or even whisper one single curse word. I apparently save those for small things like dropping a pencil or forgetting where I put my phone.
2. I can master the art of being alone. I spent almost a full year at home by myself in the fourth grade. I was sick, and sometimes scared, but mostly I learned to value the art of reading and writing. Jo from Little Women became a new acquaintance, and I put a match box beside my bed just in case Stuart Little dropped by. I also learned how delicious Space Sticks were and consumed an entire box while watching Bewitched, which led to a lecture from my dad on the cost of snack foods.
3. I can stand up to bullies. When I was in junior high, a tall young man in our church started picking on me. He was showing off for his girlfriend, and even though he was a foot taller, he began to push me. I stumbled, looked up at him, and he pushed me again. Finally, he said laughing, “Go ahead, take you best punch squirt.” So, I jumped up, punched him right in the mouth, and split his lip open. He spit blood all over the yellow wall of the church and started to cry.
4. I can present in front of people – even when embarrassing things happen. I’ll never forget the time I was preparing to step up to a podium when I realized I had forgotten my notes. I said a curse word, rather loudly, forgetting that the marketing representative had already put my lavalier microphone on my lapel. The word rang all over the hotel conference hall.  I walked up to the podium, made a joke, and finished the presentation.
5. I got through menopause without murdering one person. Not one. Not even that woman who cut in front of me at Kroger during a hot flash.  And that, my friends, is a feat.
6. I have succeeded as an entrepreneur in a field dominated by men. For 14 years, my business has flourished. I’ve worked with organizations on change, sales, and the power of story. I’ve often been the only woman in the room, but I’ve never backed down. Even when a leader stood up and told me that my solution was crap. Even when a woman told me that I needed to stop acting like a man.
7. I have raised two amazing people. One of my greatest fears was becoming a mom. I wasn’t the girl who played with dolls, I was the girl who knocked her Baby First Step’s head off in a rage on Christmas day. So you can imagine the visual I had in my head when it came to motherhood. But, I did it. And there they stand – two people with big hearts, great intellect, and hilarious senses of humor. Masterpieces.
8. I’ve written and put my words in front of others. Many of you know the pain of being critiqued on your writing. Especially on Huffington Post. I have been called a yellow journalist and an effin old whore. But I keep doing it, because I can take it.

Now it’s your turn . . .

Do me a favor. Write down a list of things you have accomplished in your life. Amazing feats you have pulled off. Wonderful things you have created.

Then, the next time you lose faith in your abilities, pull out that list and review it.

Tonight, I finish the entire Barre exercise video. I go for the burn.

Why?

Because I can.