10 Dame Commandments

Women spend a lot of time trying to improve themselves. We work on our make-up, our attitudes, our clothes, our bodies.

I watch women fall apart because they’ve gained a pound or have a new wrinkle. Heck, sometimes I am that woman.

Want to know how bad our self-esteem has gotten? We have toddlers strapping on stilettos and popping in false teeth for beauty pageants.

Something has got to give. I have not gone to a mountain top to have the following commandments chiseled into stone tablets, but I believe in them just as passionately.

10 Dame Commitments

  1.  Thou shalt not make the scale your god. It cannot part the red sea nor can it create a rainbow.
  2. Thou shalt not value another’s opinion above your own. Don’t change what you want because someone doesn’t agree with you. Be you.
  3. Thou shalt not accept stereotypical female roles. Nothing is set in stone about who cleans, who cooks, and who washes. A man has two lets, two arms, and more muscle mass. Help him use them.
  4. Thou shalt not let your teenagers make you feel stupid. You are smart, and competent, and you made them. Their brains aren’t even fully developed yet.
  5. Remember the day with other women, and keep it golden. We need each other. Find your friends and go to Aruba or Target. Doesn’t matter where, just make sure it’s just the girls.
  6. Six days thou shalt labor, and for a few days on day seven thou shalt do absolutely nothing. Grab a book and leave the house. Read while eating pancakes. Just make sure the book is trashy and the pancakes are fattening.
  7. Thou shalt not kill your husband, but you are allowed to want to. Anger is okay, as long as you don’t act on it. Sometimes you need some good, guiltless anger. Sit in front of a football game and curse at a referee. Or get in the car and call your best friend and let it fly.
  8. Thou shalt not covet another woman’s job. Stop going after other women at work. We’re all tired, and we need each other. Do your job well and make hers easier. That will make team dinners a lot less stressful.
  9. Thou shalt not apologize for your weight, hair, opinions or fingernails. Be unapologetically you. You are the best you there’s ever been.
  10. Honor thy mother. She was the Dame that raised you in even tougher Dame times. If you’re Sybil, you’re not required to adhere to this commandment.

I’d love to hear your “commandment.” Share!!