Dames Embrace Their Wrinkles

I have decided that wrinkles are going to be my big differentiator. Watching the Kardashians’ marathon yesterday with my daughter (yes, we had a quality day), I grew tired of seeing a myriad of very tight faces. Poor Bruce Jenner, who I remember as that sexy guy from the Olympics, now has a face that seems to be pinned on two bulletin boards spaced a great distance apart.

I see stars like Cher that either can’t smile or seem terrified to do so lest they damage the latest work on their faces. Who wants to live a life of self-preservation? We don’t get to stay here, no matter how pulled and tucked and coiffed we are – so we need to let our faces off restriction. They need to play outside, feel the sun, and understand the joy of smiling.

So, rather than lamenting wrinkles I have decided to embrace them as a differentiator. Soon everybody will have that tight face filled with Botox, incapable of expression. I, on the other hand, will be able to look surprised, angry, and joyous. I will be the queen of expression, and the tight faced people will envy me.

In addition, my face will tell a story while theirs will look like a mask that should hang on a wall. Every scar and  every wrinkle on my face will be a map to the greatest times in my life.

  • The deep crow’s feet will tell them that I spent many hours laughing hysterically with my friends and family.
  • The small grooves on each side of my mouth will let them know that I smiled at strangers I did not know, making sure they felt welcomed wherever I went.
  •  The wrinkles around my upper lip will represent all of the harmful words that wanted to fight their way out of my mouth but that I kept caged.
  • The line between my eyebrows will let them know that sometimes I disapproved of what was going on and let somebody know it.
  • The acne scars on my cheeks and chin will let them know that I refused to take Accutane for cystic acne until my kids were born, fed, and my tubes were tied. I didn’t want to endanger their development, so my face took the blows. I’m okay with that.

So, Dames, the next time somebody tells you  that you should get those wrinkles taken care of, tell them that you’d rather not erase your life story.

I do not judge those of you that have had work done, and you will definitely look years younger than me. I also claim the right to change my mind at any time. But for now, I’d rather not have botulism injected near my brain. Call me crazy.

Besides, my wrinkles have a story to tell.