Help! I’m In A Social Media Whirlwind

Remember the scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy is trapped in her little house as it spins in the tornado? As she and Toto look out the window together, she watches a row boat, Alvira Gulch and Aunt Em fly by.

I was always amazed at  how calm Dorothy seemed in that scene, but since the birth of social media, I get it. Dorothy was completely overwhelmed.

Dorothy, I’m right there with you.

I start my days with few words. My poor husband who, by the time I crawl out of bed, has been up for more than an hour sucking down coffee, tries to hug me. I’m a night owl. I grunt at him. I like my mornings to be vewy, vewy qwiet.

I arrive at the  office armed with my large iced coffee. I use a straw, a trick I learned in college for getting the best stuff out of a drink quickly. I turn on my computer, and begin to check my inbox.

Since my messages show several Facebook comments, I jump there and find that fourteen people have commented on my post from last night. I feel oddly popular, and try to respond to each of them.

The winds begin to switch.

I find a funny e-card that is so hilarious I must share with the DameNation Facebook fan page within the six second attention span I am now afforded. Thank you, menopause.

And, boo-yah, Huffington Post has published one of my blogs. I spend an hour promoting it. Suddenly, I remember that I committed to write three blogs today. The coffee kicks in.

The office begins to pitch. 

Thirty minutes pass as I write with the energy of a college kid who has had at least three Red Bulls. Half-way through my blog posting,  I realize that I’m supposed to be on a client conference call in five minutes. I pull out my handy defibrillator to get my heart restarted, click the appointment on my Google calendar and get the call-in number.

As I wait for the last four minutes to tick off the clock, I see my number on Google+ go from 3 to 4. I have to check it. I don’t know why I have to check it, but I do. It’s all very Skinnerian.

Approximately 15 minutes later, I realize I’m now ten minutes late for my conference call.  A hot flash kicks in as I pick up the phone to call the group who has been waiting for me. I find myself saying,

What happened was just this. The wind began to switch – my office to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.”

[quote button_text=”Tweet the Quote”]The wonderful world of social media makes me feel like Dorothy, stumbling out of her house, blinded by the color.[/quote]

I need Glinda the Good Witch to come down in her bubble and explain things, because some days I feel less like Dorothy and more like the Wicked Witch of the East, upon whom the house has landed.

Perhaps Glinda would tell me that I need to prioritize and ask myself:

  • Do I really need to watch a video about a dog snoring like Daffy Duck? Don’t I get that all night with my boxer?
  • Must I check my phone every time it buzzes? (What if it’s one of my kids in a ditch?)
  • Is it essential to my well-being that I watch an 85 year-old dancing the hula at Walmart? Am I training for an 80+ hula contest?

Maybe Erma Bombeck was right when she said in “If I Had To Live My Life Over,” –

“I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.”

Prioritization is key to the balancing of my real and virtual worlds. And I will start prioritizing once I find a few more things to share on Pinterest. And establish my new group for Dames on Google+.  And comment on at least five other blogs.

My phone begins to ring, the computer starts to ding, the desk begins to pitch, and the winds begin to switch.