How Impending Global Doom Verifies I Rock as a Mom

Reading an article on Facebook about global warming made me appreciate my mothering skills. This article discussed how we are losing our food sources due to flooding and fires, which is true. Prices on many food items are up 40% because of floods. Last week we had fires popping up all over the interstate.

So there is a big problem. But to avoid getting severely depressed, I’m going to make this about me and look for the positives.

When my kids were little, almost all of my fellow moms fed their kids fresh vegetables and fruit. I mean, some of them squeezed fresh fruit juice every morning so their little darling would be healthier than somebody else’s little darling.

They learned to avoid coming to my house at lunch since their little ones, noses orange from the plethora of fresh carrots they ingested, were fed another form of orange food. That would be the powder found in the box of macaroni and cheese that I prepared for them.

My daughter didn’t even know what real cheese looked like. I took a lot of flak for feeding my kids snacks like “Space Food Sticks” while theirs ate celery with peanut butter.

Now they’re talking about losing our food supply, and people having to learn to eat powdered foods to survive. So, HAH, who’s the best mom now?

My kids will have to make absolutely no adjustment to the new world order. They will be fine with sodas, boxed macaroni and cheese, fake meat and space food sticks. They will acclimate while others will struggle.

In addition, while other children were outdoors playing and attending camps, mine were taking in the latest episode of 9-1-1 on the television. Indoors.

So, while your healthy family withers during our apparent impending doom, mine will be sitting underground watching reality television and eating boxed macaroni and cheese.

And we will thrive.

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