If Women Created Mother’s Day . . .

Once a year, all moms are given another incredible reason to take care of other people. And, ironically, it’s called Mother’s Day.

I remember the pained expression on my mother’s face as each year dad would buy her some godawful corsage made with carnations (cheapest flower) that she would be forced to pin on her choir robe.

Then he would make all the mothers stand up in church, and we would applaud them. Every woman standing knew that applause was going to cost her big time. It meant she was going to have to wear that corsage all day, as well as cook for everybody and thank them all year for the special day they provided.

Make no mistake about it, Mother’s Day was created by male marketers at Hallmark. And there is no un-doing it.

Luckily, my husband and kids have great taste and do it right. But I remember what we did to our own mom, and there was definite room for improvement.

If women created Mother’s Day, here’s what it would look like. On this day, moms would:

  • Sleep in. We would not wake up to a burnt breakfast served in bed to ensure future sheet washing and vacuuming.
  • Have a clean house. We would not wake up to kitchens where the mess far exceeds the amount of food we were actually served at breakfast.
  • Send the family to church while we stay home. No corsages or applause, simply a good book read in a quiet, clean house.
  • Pick out our own gifts. My poor mom would have to smile as she unwrapped a piece of faux jewelry Mr. T would reject.

I believe Mother’s Day is actually a reissue of Father’s Day with a different name. So, I’m calling Hallmark. I’ll let you know how it goes.