Menopause is a Grimm Tale

There are dozens of interpretations of the story of “Little Red Riding Hood” that stem from a warning about talking to strangers to a sexual awakening. I have my own version.

I believe that Little Red Riding Hood has been apart from her Grandmother for awhile, and since her previous visit, Grandma has gone through menopause.

One day, Little Red Riding Hood enters her Grandma’s house, expecting the usual smiling welcome and warm meal her grandmother has always offered. Instead, she sees her Grandma sacked out on the couch with a quilt thrown over her.

“Grandma, are you ill?” she asks.

“No I’m not ill, I’m just tired,” Grandma responds, hunting for a fan to help with her latest hotflash.

“My Grandma, what a red face you have,” Little Red Riding Hood exclaims.

“Really? You’re going there, little girl? Yes, I guess it is red. I’m hot and growing weary of this conversation. Maybe my red face is competing with that ridiculous red cape you keep wearing,” Grandma replies with irritation. Little Red Riding Hood comes closer.

“And, Grandma, what a furry face you have,” she continues.

“Yea, well, the better to catch crumbs with,” Grandma replies, growing tired of her grandchild. “Why are you here, anyway, Red? Got any chocolate in that basket?”

Grandmother musters up enough energy to get off the couch and stand up to take a look at the basket. Little Red Riding Hood steps closer, and she looks her grandmother up and down.

“Grandma, what a big waistline you have,” Little Red Riding Hood exclaims, eyes widened.

“You know what? The better for eating little children . . .” and with that Little Red Riding Hood ran out of the house and told everybody that her grandmother was now a wolf and tried to eat her.

That’s the real story of Little Red Riding Hood. Menopause is a Grimm tale.