Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who’s the fairest of them all?
I have to give props to the Evil Witch in Snow White who asked her mirror this each day. We judged her for the sheer audacity of the question, but maybe having a mirror that offers us a positive message each morning isn’t such a bad thing. It’s better than the question most of us ask:
Mirror, mirror, that I see,
Tell me what is wrong with me?
We look to the mirror not for affirmation, but to find flaws. We don’t see the beautiful face that enchanted our parents when we were born, we see wrinkles and imperfections. Looking at a new outfit, we don’t see how we rock the colors, we find stomach rolls and bulging muffin tops. And when we see those things, it impacts our confidence as we meet the day. And you want to know the one thing that can amp up your attractiveness immediately?
I’m not talking Narcissus, falling into his own reflection out of extreme self-love. I’m talking about treating ourselves the way we treat others. I often compliment other people, yet when they compliment me, it goes something like this:
Nice person: Oh, wow, I love your outfit!
Me: I have had this for years, and the pants are so tight I haven’t taken a deep breath since 8:30 a.m.
But I’m working on it. The other day I was in a bathroom and a young girl was washing her hands at the same time I was. I looked at her golden hair with ringlets and was about to compliment her, when she surprised me with:
Little girl: I love your hair!
Everything in me wanted to say, Really? It used to be a lot prettier. But I realized that standing in front of me was a young girl who could be impacted by my response. So, instead I said:
Me: Thank you! I love your hair as well.
She smiled at me, her blue eyes sparkling and said, My mom is trying to dye her hair blonde. She doesn’t like her hair color, but I think it’s beautiful.
I could tell that she didn’t understand why her mom thought she was “less than,” and it made her sad. I had a mom who refused to dye her hair blonde no matter how many times my dad requested it, and she left this earth at 89 with a beautiful head of hair. She rocked her hair because she was confident in her own beauty.
Are we doing the same? Or are we teaching the next generation that they need to find their flaws before the rest of the world notices them?
Moving forward, try looking in the mirror every morning and finding one thing that you like about yourself. Perhaps the conversation could be:
Mirror, mirror, help me see,
One lovely thing about me.
Then force yourself to find one thing that you like. My smile is dynamic; my legs are strong; my attitude is awesome; I’m smart. Learn that the Evil Queen got one thing right – we need encouragement. Every day. We need to remind ourselves that flaws are in the eye of the beholder, and based upon the false belief that others spend their days focusing on us.
Today, be grateful for everything that is right about you. See the beauty that others see. Reflect not on your flaws, but on your unique, unquestionable, spectacular shine.