Some days life blows you a raspberry.
Menopause can seem to increase the number of down days, as I wake up and realize that my body is spreading like lava, oozing over my pants and discouraging me from partaking of the one thing that could make me feel better — a fattening breakfast. Last night I found a tick under a roll of fat on my waist that might have been there since last summer.
These are the days that aren’t traumatic, they’re just annoying. The days when you arrive at work, you sit in front of your computer and see the latest, uplifting newsflash. The bad news causes you to drop your head down to the desk repeatedly, attempting to knock yourself unconscious. Some days it seems the Wild-West is in full gear, and you wonder if you should just buy your six-shooter and chaps and a horse and prepare yourself for the inevitable.[quote button_text=”Tweet the Quote”]Days when absolutely nothing goes right can provide a slippery-slope into self-pity.[/quote]
My mom used to stop me by saying, “Let’s all have a pity party for Donna. Pooooooooor Donna.” Perhaps this was a precursor to my hatred of all parties in general.
But it also taught me to stop feeling sorry for myself and find implementable solutions. For solutions to raspberry days, I reached out to the amazing Dames who are members of the DameNation Facebook fan page.
I asked them: How do you help yourself get out of those down days where nothing seems to go right?
Following are some of their simply amazing ideas.
- Read funny quotes, pray, go to the gym, talk to my husband, put on my big girl panties, and fake it.
- Listen to inspirational music. Take time to think about what has gone RIGHT recently and be grateful. Have a glass of wine and conversation with a good friend.
- Neiman Marcus is my therapist. Especially the NM outlet…..they know me well but for some reason my insurance won’t cover it….
- Quiet time. Meditating, journaling, walking. Oh yea and there’s wine.
- I sit in my favorite recliner, make myself a cup of coffee and put my earplugs on with my iPad and I listen to my favorite music and escape by singing along while doing crosswords. I tune everything out, even my husband.
- Make a gratitude list of 100 things for which you are thankful. It’s magic.
- I talk with my sweet husband. We have loved and supported each other for 20 years and know each other like the backs of our hands.
- I catch up on the shows I’ve recorded on my DVR.
- Deep breathing. Especially ‘alternate nostril breathing’.
- When I’m feeling blue or frustrated I’ve found that it’s really nothing that a nap with the dog and a bowl of chocolate brownie ice-cream couldn’t cure. True.
- A glass of red wine and the Hallmark Channel.
- Sometimes I get out my favorite get-lost-for-an-evening fantasy novel. I am also finding now that exercise can be the right way out, though I really have to feel that pull to do it or it just feels like punishment.
- Yesterday was one of those days. I watched a ton of funny…laugh out loud Youtube videos.
- Kitty love. Warm brownie & ice cream. Reading something inspirational. Writing. And Diane Keaton’s movie “Something’s Gotta Give.”
- I secure the household, announce my departure and go see a movie by myself.
- I dig in the dirt…. It seems to remind me that I can start, work through, and finish something tangible. If that doesn’t work, a friend taught me a trick that has yet to fail. Stand on solid piece of ground (preferably a rock — the non-wobbly kind) and jump up and down on it three times. The power of grounding myself.
- I find a way to help someone else. It does wonders for the spirit. And I look for ways to be grateful in the moment.
- I go to the barn and talk to the horses. They don’t judge, they always agree with me, and they give great kisses.
- Wine, wine and wine…..!
- Read, sleep, drink.
- For me – I head straight to the kitchen. Not to eat, but to cook. Immersing myself in the act of prepping, chopping, preparing is the best way I know to de-compress. And if I am lucky a neighbor or a friend, maybe my daughter, comes over to share the end results. Add in a nice bottle of wine and generally anything that was troublesome becomes much less so.
One of our male “Dames” gave me explicit instructions concerning my boxer, Riggins:
Sit on the floor with Riggins. Scritch him behind the ears for a few moments. Put your nose right up to his and tell him you love him. Then stand up, give him a playful shove, say “Gotcha!” and run. He will chase you down, tackle you, and walk and lick all over you, that docked Boxer tail wagging and that undershot black mask of his (five o’clock shadow) pushing that cold wet nose right into your ear until you laugh!
Sometimes it is that easy. I implemented a couple of these suggestions last night, and they worked. I thank every single Dame for their contribution.
I’d love for you to add to these ideas with your own suggestions: How do you handle a raspberry day?