Nine Reasons We Should Obliterate Age

This is my birthday week, and the mere existence of this date in time causes me to ask:

Who in the hell decided we need to define our time on earth in linear numbers??

I personally blame 969 year-old Methuselah, who probably encouraged the numerical approach to build a competitive platform upon which he would win. Every time.

If Age Did Not Exist

Let’s consider this – without numerical years attached to our existence here on earth, we could:

  1. Date whoever we wanted without judgment, regardless of their age. Okay, this one already sounds a  little Sanduskyish, so let’s move on.
  2. Observe wrinkles as just something our skin does when it relaxes. Wrinkles aren’t a negative without their association to aging. Perhaps, like a Shar Pei, our value could go up as our wrinkles increase.
  3. Ignore Grecian Formula commercials. Gray hair would mean nothing other than the shifting of non-significant color to that of a precious metal. Like a Percheron horses, gray would be considered lovely.
  4. Eat Pixie Stix or chew Bubble Yum and blow bubbles with abandon. I still do both, but feel a little embarrassed when I have to cut bubble gum out of my hair due to a rogue bubble.
  5. Never again have somebody tell us to “act our age.”
  6. Be considered for any job at any level without someone deciding we’re not appropriate for the job before we even sit down.
  7. Never have to open that envelope from AARP and die, just a little, inside.
  8. Still talk about our hopes and dreams without feeling bound by how close we might or might not be to the grave.
  9. Decorate our houses in lime green daisies, or furry bedspreads, or posters of Bobby Sherman – whatever we want, without a sense that we are being childish.

Age is just a number, created to help determine an average of existence on earth. I don’t think we need to know that number.[quote button_text=”Tweet the Quote”]Who needs a Cape Canaveral countdown to the day our soul is rocketed off to heaven?[/quote] What if we didn’t worry about acting our age, or how long we have left on that age chart somebody created?

Believe me, I’ve spent my life defying the insurance weight chart. I can defy an age chart with equal vigor.

So, Methuselah, get ready. We’re going to get rid of the numbers and just enjoy our days and eat Pixie Stix if we want to. And you will no longer be the big birthday winner, because we are going for quality over quantity.

 

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