The Danger of Snow Days & Girl Scouts

[quote button_text+”Tweet the Quote”]I recently read that cold weather speeds up your metabolism. That was not a good thing for me to read.[/quote] According to the recent escalation in my food consumption, I must have felt that cold weather doubles or triples my metabolism. To counter this imagined metabolic onslaught, I added some important staples to my diet to keep me from withering away to nothing during these cold months. These staples include:

  • Cheese Puffs (yes, I only like the puffy kind)
  • Lays Potato Chips dipped in salsa (my daughter’s fault – she gave me the salsa tip)
  • BBQ Potato Chips
  • Dill Pickle Potato Chips

Potatoes are a vegetable, after all.

After a couple of months of eating to survive, I put on some dress pants I hadn’t worn in a while. I instantly accused the dry cleaners of shrinking them. Then I tried on another pair, and was equally appalled by the lousy dry cleaners we are using. After the third pair, however, I realized that my metabolism had acclimated nicely to the cold weather, thank you, and had no need for the excessive calories I was piling on.

So, I went to my kitchen and threw out all of my potato chips. Unfortunately, two of the bags weren’t opened yet which meant they were fine when I pulled them out of the trash later. But the next morning, they were definitely gone. I left for work proud of myself and my new dedication to eating right.

I walked into my office with the confidence of someone who has just decided to eat better, only to find that the $42.00 I had spend on Girl Scout cookies had paid off. There was a bag on the floor of my office from which Samoas and Thin Mints grinned at me lasciviously. I was a Girl Scout. As a young girl, I spent hours standing in front of grocery stores and begging people to buy my cookies. My mother would not sell one box for me – I had to do it myself. Therefore, I feel responsible for ordering multiple boxes every year. I only do this because I am a caring person, you understand.

As I ate sat in front of the television and ate a full sleeve of Samoas the other night, I realized that I might be taking my responsibility a little too far. I need to stop being so giving. Perhaps I can share the cookies with others.

The good news is that they’re reporting more snow tomorrow. I might have to eat an additional box or two. It’s survival, after all.

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