Yes, I’m Turning Into Sophia from Golden Girls

The things that we think and the words that we say are often worlds apart. For example, this morning I said “thank you” to the rude woman who handed me my coffee when my thought bubble would have said, “Stop working with the public, woman.”

As I consider the disparity between my thoughts and my comments, I realize this:

Menopause is beginning to burst my thought bubbles.

Can you imagine what would occur if our thoughts showed, boldly, right above our heads? Until menopause loosened my tongue, here a few scenarios where my thought bubbles kept my thoughts quiet.

Scenario: A peppy woman is telling me how she just ADORES menopause and how she is so happy about the hot flashes and loss of memory and drying skin and thinning hair and what a blessing the whole experience is and how thrilled she is to be going through it.

My Words –– “Wow, I really am impressed with your approach. I believe that thoughts become behaviors, and you really have the right perspective.”

Thought Bubble — “Okay, bitch, let’s take it outside.”

Scenario: I wake up in the morning and look out the bedroom window. As I look, I think that the mini-blinds must be broken because one drooping slat is blocking my view. Then I realize it’s my own eyelid. My husband comes into the bedroom and says, “Good morning, beautiful!”

My Words — “Good morning, honey.”

Thought Bubble — “I hate my eyelids. Gravity has won the battle and I’m melting into the ground. Will you still love me when I’m just a hat and a broom?”

Scenario: I listen to a comedy show in the car with my son, and the youngish comedians are laughing about Steve Martin being a new father at 67 years-old and the young crowd yells, “Ewwww,” and then they go into a rant about the old people in Hollywood like Alec Baldwin. 

My Words — “That’s hilarious!”

Thought Bubble — “Holy Crap! Those guys are not much older than me.

[quote button_text=”Tweet the Quote”]When did I become the old person? I’m not ready for this![/quote]

Pull over! I’m jumping out and running, and I will outrun age. I swear. Pull over!!”

Scenario: I sit on a plane next to a woman who is in her 20’s and drop-dead gorgeous. She has the window seat, and I’m in the middle seat. A man in his late 40’s comes towards us and stops at our row. He looks at her longingly, then looks at me. His is the aisle seat. He asks if I’d like to switch seats so I can have more leg room. He’s 6’2″ and I’m 5’3″.

My Words — “No, I’m fine where I am, thank you.”

Thought Bubble — “Okay, horn dog, you’re not getting to sit by the young, pretty woman. Just sit your ass down and quit drooling.”

Thought Bubbles and Menopause

I am noticing that as I go through menopause, the thought bubbles are starting to burst and the words just come tumbling out. I have a new appreciation for Sophia in “The Golden Girls.” Here are few examples.

Scenario: I’m presenting a session, and have a hot flash. I’m taking my jacket off, and my face turns red. The executive male, around 55 years-old himself,  says, “Uh-oh, are we having a flash?” This is said in front of the entire group.

My Words — “Yes, we are having a flash. And if you bring it up again I will rip your heart out.”

No more thought bubbles. My thoughts are out there for the world to see and judge.

Scenario: I went to the drugstore to find Children’s Tylenol for my great niece. I’m already late for a call, and I can’t find the Children’s Tylenol anywhere. I see there is a long pharmaceutical line, and realize nobody is available to help me. In the past, I would try to find someone. Instead, I stood in the middle of the aisle and yelled –

My Words — “Where the hell is the Children’s Tylenol?”

It worked. Several people yelled back with instructions.

The thought bubble is bursting, and while it might horrify people around me, I must say it is a bit of a relief. Finally, the truth is out there. Maybe when menopause slows down so will my need to voice my thoughts. But, until then, it’s going to be a fun ride.