In my professional life I am both a work and life coach. In both capacities, I’m startled by the number of women who don’t feel worthy. I have heard so many women say that as they age they’re losing their looks, and their self-esteem is going out the door with their young skin. I’ve felt the same way, and I wasn’t even that great looking to start with.
Here’s my question: Do you think Betty White walks around questioning her self-worth? Maybe so, but based upon her glow and sparkle I think not. We lose our beauty when we have diminished self-worth. The sadness becomes a cloak around our gorgeous selves. It’s time to de-cloak. Or un-cloak. Or however you might describe removing a cloak.
Why I Think We’re Worthy
Here are a few of the reasons why I think women are worthy, with a little Dame humor thrown in. Once you read this, I want each of you to add your own thoughts in the “Comments” section.
Dames are worthy because:
- Pain is our bi***. From the approximate age of fourteen on, we have cramps every month. Our uterus spasms and our hormones go crazy. Some of us played sports while a knife slowly twisted in our gut. But we went to school, we played softball, we carried kids, we moved our family from state-to-state, and we went to work or ran errands non-stop.
- We nurture life. There are very few female serial killers. Most wars are not started by women. Most violent crimes do not involve women. We are those who take care of the earth and the people there-in. We nurture kids, nieces and nephews to adulthood, we take care of animals, we recycle. At least most of us recycle.
- We are fierce. I once watched a cow giving birth. While that doesn’t sound all that appealing, what was amazing was how the other cows in the pasture reacted to my family’s observation. One cow saw us and seemed to inform the other cows of the alien beings at the fence. They proceeded to form a circle around the one giving birth so we couldn’t see her. Once the calf was born, they all worked together to lick it clean. Perhaps not something we would want to have to do, but you get the point. I have no doubt those cows would have charged us if we had gotten close. You want to see how fierce women are? Threaten someone they love. You’ll get a lickin’ and it won’t be the good kind.
- We clean up our own messes. Unlike the men of Enron or Bank of America, women know how to clean up after themselves. Take some anti-nausea medication and visit a man’s bathroom in a restaurant. Of course you’ll want to wait until it’s empty, which I have not always done. Who knew that “Gulls” was girls and “Buoys” was boys? I was confused. But once you quickly visit the Buoys, go next door to the Gulls. You’ll find women washing the hands of three kids, wiping down the counter, picking up paper towels and making sure the kids don’t touch the door knob. We do it all.
- We are leaders. I’ve met some of the most amazing female leaders in Corporate America and at home with kids and on the playground. Watch little girls take over a game at recess. They give the rules, they provide role-clarity, and they often dominate. Leadership is what we do, we just don’t always know it.
- We are smart, we are gorgeous, and age has nothing to do with it. The only difference between women in their fifties and sixties and women in the twenties and thirties is that we now have time to focus on ourselves again, and we’re not sure how to do that. We feel like an appendage has been removed because our responsibilities have been lessened. We’ve tied our self-worth to our jobs or our kids and now we’re lost. We’re repeating thoughts to ourselves that are self-defeating. We are still the same amazing, smart, gorgeous women we were in our twenties — we have just stopped believing it.
Why You Think We’re Worthy
So, I want all of us to write down why we think we are worthy to be a vibrant part of this world. What benefits do you have? Why are you amazing? Before you answer, here is a great quote from Marianne Williamson about our greatest fear.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Now answer this question in the “Comments” section below, no matter what your age or gender:
Why am I worthy?