Looking for a Way Out of the Weigh-In

I have found the lightest pair of pants in my closet and removed all my heavy jewelry. I make sure my hair is completely dry lest its density ruin my day. You see, it’s weigh-in day at Jenny Craig.

On this day I clip my toe-nails, trim my bangs, and sip absolutely no type of beverage until those numbers appear on the scale.

I arrive at Jenny Craig with my heart pounding, and see a woman walking down the hall with a look that would make a basset hound sad. Her counselor is saying things like, “more exercise adds muscle which puts weight on – your clothes are still feeling better, right?”

Don’t give us your peppy anecdotes of weight gained but inches lost. We know that our only desire is for those numbers to go DOWN.

Seeing those numbers decrease justify why on Thanksgiving I had dry turkey and green beans while everyone else feasted like Henry VIII.

I really don’t care about being a size 6. If I get too small none of my clothes will fit, my skin will hang (depressed by the fact that it misses its fat filler),  and I will feel obligated to be peppy, positive, and tell everybody that they can do it too.  I don’t need the weight loss as much as I need more energy.  

I’ve always agreed with Anne Lamotte, who says  in her book Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

Let’s start with something easy: to step into beauty, does one have to give up on losing a little weight? No, of course not. Only if you’re sick of suffering. Because if you cannot see that you’re okay now, you won’t be able to see it if you lose twenty pounds. It’s an inside job.

My inside job is fine — I just need to stay healthy. Today the scales were on my side, and I lost another pound.  So I put my necklace and watch back on, stepped into my shoes, threw on a coat, and felt relief that all of my nails have been trimmed in the process. I looked like an Irish Setter bounding down the hall with my smaller tail wagging. I passed the basset hound lady and tried to encourage her, but she hated me and I didn’t blame her.

Today I recognize my increased energy and thank Jenny for her help. I also know that while my soul is fine whatever weight I might be, it does appreciate being a little less weighed down.

By the way I really recommend this book: